Wasted effort

Assalamualaikum. Setelah berminggu tak stay back lama sampai Isya' di kantor, hari nih ditakdir kan untuk stay back. Terpaksa lepaskan girlfriend balik dulu, and she gotta pick me up once I reach LRT Pandan Indah.

Tiredness strikes me back. I could feel that blood in brain (ehh ada ke blood in brain) doesn't circulate well. Yelaaa perut tidak terisi.

What did I do today till I am so bloodless and soulless? Nahh, over. I did nothing. Just lame work that I supposed to do. Cuma yg penat bila kejar deadline and once presented to the manager, kena reject. And of course, Re-do lah. Ntah berapa kali. Till he excused himself to go back first. Luckily haha. But tomorrow, gonna be hectic, I guess.

Then I start to ponder one thing. Despite how many effort I ve sacrificed to give the best outcome to my manager, but yet he still reject whenever he feels like to. Without even care how much effort I ve put in. Doesn't it mean that everything I did before the accepted outcome is a waste? And the answer is Yes. Absolutely yes. If the rejected outcome is on the paper, it ll be a recycled paper or a filling in dustbin. Nampak tak how unmeaningful nya kerja kau tuh?

Time tgh pondering tuh, tetiba terdetik sendiri (ada pulak nak terdetik beramai ramai lol), selama nih effort yg aku korban kan untuk ke jalan Allah apa lah sangat. Yet aku dah rasa macam, 'cukup lah tuh. Sekurangnya aku buat dah.' Walhal aku tak pasti pun either amal yg aku buat tuh diterima ke tak. Alhamdulillah Allah Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang segala usaha yang telah dilakukan tak pernah jadi sia sia since Allah tak pandang outcome semata. Baikkan Allah :) Usaha-yang-tak-akan-dihargai-manusia mungkin akan jadi salah satu pemberat neraca amalan. Cuma jangan lupa untuk angkut Ikhlas bersama. W'Alam.

Time to sleep. Wasalam.

Ajarkan hati ini lapang

Assalamualaikum. Jujur tak mudah untuk didik hati sendiri agar berlapang dada. Lebih lagi untuk berlapang dada di atas kegembiraan orang lain. Astaghfirullah, hati masih berkeladak.

Siapalah aku untuk mempersoal kan qada' qadar Allah? Dia yang atur kan sekian sekian perkara. Setiap aturan-Nya tak pernah salah kan.

Cuma untuk insan yang iman nya tipis macam aku nih, sungguh lah struggle untuk pujuk hati agar redha dan Berlapang dada dengan segala yang telah ditentu kan.

We thought our plan is the best for our path, but we forgot that Allah also has planned something better for us. Indeed His plan is the best-est.

Kuatkan hati, wahai diri. Moga aku hanya tercorot dari sudut penilaian manusia. Tidak dari sudut penilaian penduduk Langit mahu pun pandangan Allah.

Believe in faith. La tahzan, اللّه معنا.

Penat Tapi Puas

Assalamualaikum. Alhamdulillah selesai lah sudah minggu ketiga bekerja. And this week is the first week of working life for girlfriend. Kesian dia penat. Tak dinafikan, in my first week pun, self motivation sangat lah tipis sampai one time rasa nak give up. Menangis jangan cakap lah haha. Cuma my first week was alone since girlfriend takde di sisi, so byk merengek kat Ibu. Ibu is being Ibu. Setiap patah kata yg Ibu cakap, Ibu akan relate to Allah. Senang cakap, back to Allah. And Alhamdulillah, I survived.

Nak dijadikan cerita pagi tadi, we went to LRT by separate cars sebab I had a dinner date with my new friend yg masuk as Management Trainee jugak but different department. Surprisingly, she already resigned. That's why kena dinner date to have further chat, tapi last min cancel. Ehh, nak cerita kat sini bukan pasal dinner date. Nak cakap, yg pagi tuh time on the way ke LRT, terdengar lagu Jangan Menangis Habibah kat radio. Bait bait nya,

Kemari sini Habibah
Lepaskan gundah gulana
Izinkanku mendengar
Resah jangan terus dibiar

Jangan menangis Habibah
Penatmu itu ibadah
Isteri yang taat setia
Syahidlah ganjarannya

Teladanilah wahai wanita
Betapa tabah Siti Khadijah
Luhurnyahebatnya Fatimah
Teladanilah wahai wanita
Selautan ilmu Siti Aisyah
Kudusnya taqwanya Rabiatul Adawiyah

Since aku nih jenis suka melayan lirik instead of lagu (sentimental haha), I found the lirik sungguh menusuk kalbu. On point! Terpujuk sat hati wanita nih. Wanita sangat haha. But serius lah, part yang dia relate kan dgn Srikandi Srikandi Islam tuh, terus rasa macam sentap sendiri.

Aku nih baru diuji dengan kesuntukan masa untuk diri sendiri, kesibukan yang sedikit, kena tegur dengan senior manager, dah merengek mengada. Jauh nya perjalanan nak capai tahap wanita solehah macam nih. Sobs.

Alhamdulillah every Friday, surau Public Bank akan ada kelas AlQuran. Walaupun berbulatan dengan akak akak yg baya Ibu, tetap rasa seronok. Walaupun akak akak tuh semua strangers at first but I feel secured. Totally secured. Yelaa, kalau kita tak mampu nak jadi yg solehah, dapat duduk dlm liqa macam tuh pun rasa nikmat dah.

Semalam habis kelas pun dah pukul 7pm. Lepas Maghrib baru gerak dari office. Rezeki, ada akak tumpang kan sampai ke LRT where I parked my car. WaAllahi tak kenal pun akak tuh before nih, but aturan Allah menemu kan macam dah kenal lama. Sampai rumah dalam pukul 8.30pm. Penat memang penat. Tapi puas. Mungkin sebab kau tahu yg penat kali nih bukan penat yg sia sia.

Terasa rindu zaman di mana tiap kali balik rumah dah kena bersiap utk usrah, then hujung minggu ada rehlah, mukhayam, jaulah. Terisi sangat masa yang ada. Teringat kata kata Buya Hamka, kalau kita bekerja semata bekerja, kera dihutan pun bekerja. So, how we want to differentiate ourselves with Kera? Simpan jawapan sendiri ye.

Moga kita semua diberi kekuatan utk terus beramal. Allah yuftah 'alaina. W'Alam.

Didikan Allah

Assalamualaikum. Now I am still otw back home. In the train. Third train Alhamdulillah. At 8.46PM. Today was totally exhausted. Tambah penat bila aku kena swap job task dgn the other senior trainee.

Yang menjadi penat nya ialah bila kena deal dengan senior boss. My boss yg kurang senior, he is totally kind, open to discussion, nak tegur org pun bil hikmah. He is a non-Muslim. Perhaps yet. Tapi my senior boss is the opposite of him. Totally opposite. TOTALLY ye.

Okay sat. Nak drive balik rumah.
---
Hahaha, ampun. Sampai rumah semalam terus collapsed. Nih meanwhile waiting for the train baru ada mood nak sambung.

Lagi best tadi balik, tak tunggu senior boss since I was in hurry. Yelaaa dah janji dgn org nak dinner sama. Janji kot. Tak nak lah jadi munafik. So tomorrow bersiap sedia lah to face kemarahan dia. MashaAllah mohon doa.

Okay back to topic. Lately nih, since so many happened in sudden, aku macam wonder kenapa it happened. To me. In my first week, macam dah lega lah jugak since aku kena deal dgn junior boss jea walaupun kesian nya dengan trainee sorang lagi yg selalu kena marah dgn senior boss. Then on my first day of second week suddenly being told aku kena swap task. He will cover my task. I ll take over his task and deal with the senior boss.

Apart from the journey to go work, to face the boss is now my addition struggle. Moga Allah lunak kan hati nya utk berlemah lembut dgn aku. Tak dinafikan, aku a lil bit kasar, tapi kalau kena sergah menitis jugak lah air mata. Hati tisu kenod help.

Indeed, all these difficulties won't happen kalau Allah tak izin kan, kan? Kira Allah has better plan to me. Bersangka baik. Mungkin dengan selalu deal dgn senior boss, aku lagi tough to face reality yang mana unpredictable. Baik dari segi environment, atau perangai org. Mungkin jugak a platform supaya aku no longer manja dengan dunia. Since nak masuk syurga Allah kan mahal maharnya. Kalau selalu dibelai, ditatap, dilimpah dengan nikmat dunia, what makes me feel appreciate to enter syurga nanti.

Pepatah Melayu pun ada cakap, 'bersusah dahulu, bersenang kemudian.' Yeahh, so now is the susah part Izzati. Allah knows His creature well.

Whatever is, cakap mudah. To act, is the other thing. Mohon diberi kekuatan melalui hari hari yg mendatang. W'Alam.

Qudwah

Assalamualaikum. Selamat berhujung minggu. Alhamdulillah, cukup lah 4 hari sudah mencebur diri dlm alam baru. Pekerjaan. Tapi post nih takde lah nak sembang pasal kerja since I feel quite upset to this issue. Nahhh, maybe I am expecting too much. Tapi biasa lah, I guess.

Qudwah. Atau bahasa melayu nya, contoh. When it comes to examples, of course lah it relates to People. Given some situations as examples.

#1 Seseorang yang mana setiap minggu tak pernah miss Usrah, program atau majlis ilmu. Tapi kata kata yg sering keluar dari ulas bibirnya, aib aib orang lain.

#2 Seseorang yang punya tinggi ilmu agama, physically menjaga batasan pergaulan tapi secara maya (sosial media), FAIL. This is really upsetting. Why? Because I ve so many experience or real situations or people nearby me yg macam they seem know nothing about IKHTILAT. Especially Man.

I know I should not judge. But if it is so obvious, I am human though, indeed utk orang yg biasa mesti diorg akan macam, "Ala sekolah agama pun ikhtilat ke laut." "Huffaz pun mencarut" and the dialogues go on. Memang, even huffaz pun manusia and tak maksum. Tapi normal people punya expectations kat awak is different. Amanah weh. Amanah supaya kau tak jadikan agama suci Allah sebagai fitnah.

What I terkilan the most is relate to Ikhtilat. Which I am struggling as well to take care of it. Mmg tak mudah. Tapi itu lah mujahadah kita. Indeed, aku fikir kalau dengan semua orang (yang lain jantina), seseorang itu boleh beramah mesra dengan emoji hati di mulut atau anything yg I don't think it is proper to give, don't u feel u re cheap? Sorry but yes I am judging. Bcos what is left for your future partner? And what makes him/her special than anyone else? Betul lah ibu cakap, too much disclosure or exposure about yourself, there will be less surprises to your partner.

Mainan syaitan tuh waAllahi licik, halus and kotor. Plus, dia tahu kelemahan kita tang mana. So shall we follow him as friend or fight him as enemy? Simpan jawapan sendiri. Yes, everyone has their own battle and please be tough. May Allah grant each of us a strong and sound heart.

Upset,
Me.

If I am a Boss

Assalamualaikum. Salam Jumaat, penghulu segala hari. But do we really assume it as penghulu segala hari? Or just a benchmark esok cuti? Haha to ponder maybe.

Noticed some kaum Adam yang boleh buat rileks tak pi solat Jumaat was kind of a disappointment to me. Yelaa, kaum mereka dah lah agak limited dah tuh mcm tuh pulak. Yes, should not be judgemental or skeptical to those yg ngelat solat. Mungkin tak sihat bila ke masjid and the only way to cure ialah dgn bertenggek di Mall. Sangka baik.

Then, comes to my mind that if I am the boss of those ngelat ngelat one, obviously lah I won't give any chance for them to keep working with me. Buat habis ongkos jea bayar gaji. Kerja tak jalan since diorg ngelat kan. Takpun block awal awal dari whatsapp group. Haha tetiba.

Do we really realize that kita nih taraf kuli? Do we realize that kita ada boss yg supervise every deeds we do for every minutes and seconds? Do we? And the best part is, boss tuh baik sungguh. Regardless kuli kuli nih mengelat, tak buat kerja, MC berbulan bulan, still dibayar gaji. Terang tang tang lah boss tuh Yang Mencipta kita, si kuli kuli nih. And gaji yg diberi ialah nikmat hidup, udara, makan, perasaan, kawan, and the list continues.

Logik akal manusia, bila dah jadi boss, para kuli nih tak memberi impak yang maksima (mashaAllah ayat. Tak patut SPM BM dpt A- nih haha) pun kat boss kan. Dah macam bilis jea pada pandangan boss. And tuh yang membeza kan Manusia dgn Pencipta, Yang Maha Kaya dgn cinta dan kasih sayang. Kita yang lekeh nih, still acah bagus, sombong sampai terabai hak kita sebagai kuli. Hamba lah sedap sikit.

I heard this sentence before but tak ingat siapa yg cakap, Bila kita TAK jaga hak Allah, how do we expect Allah nak jaga hak kita? Siapa kita nak dapat layanan VVIP by not contributing or doing anything? Hentikan berangan. It wont go anywhere without Allah's will. Haha. Gelak keji dekat diri sendiri. Tonyoh bawang kat mata.

Since, Raya AidilAdha nak dekat, jom grab the chances to get closer to The Almighty. Tambahan pulak, 9 Zulhijjah nih bonus berganda ganda. Moga segala amalan diterima, Aamiin. Tembakkan doa agar hati ini tetap dilandasanNya. W'Alam.

Expectations

Assalamualaikum. Memandangkan sekarang nih aku penganggur secara formal, banyaklah masa aku luangkan pada benda benda yang tak pasti ada manfaat atau tidak. Whattodo haha. Antara aktivitinya, social media lah.

Since my passion is in pictures, I love to scroll Instagram of course. Hmm, tapi tak boleh scroll lama sebab nanti data Internet habis and aku mengalami perasaan tidak-selamat (baca: insecure) haha. Why? My followings semuanya lawa, manis, solehah belaka. Mungkin sbb tuh diorang ada keyakinan yg tinggi utk post gambar selfie. Serius. Aku kagum kot. Haha I know I sound so loser. But ini jujur I tell you.

Jangankan selfie, gambar berkumpulan pun aku fikir patpoloh kali nak post ke dak. Tambah pulak now ig boleh zoom in haha. Kenapa? Because of EXPECTATIONS. Aku tak suka expectation org kat aku. Macam cruel. Macam memberi harapan palsu. Cth, kebanyakan dlm gambar aku nampak seakan akan flawless (aku taip, aku yg geli haha), walhal in real life I am not. So not haha. Kot lah ada follower yg mmg betul stranger, tak ke hampa dia mengetahui hal sebenar. Acahnya lahh haha. Indah khabar dari rupa. Good things, future zauj nanti kena hadap sorang berjuta selfie aku hahaha. Mohon azan ditelinga.

Dalam aku yg tak suka pengharapan orang, satu pengharapan yg takkan dihampakan tanpa bersebab adalah berharap pada Yang Mencipta. Senyum. Kan Allah ada cakap, "Aku adalah sepertimana kau menggambarkan diriKu." Tuh kan. Maksudnya, expect lah macam mana sekali pun, Allah kan boleh baca expectation kita tuh. Cth, kita expect Allah hadir kan hujan utk rawat hati kita yg panas membara. Lebih kepada psychology. Mind psychology. Bila kita paksa otak bersangka baik dgn Allah, insyaAllah benda yang baik tuh jugak akan dtg kat kita. And yes, saying is easier than action. But why not give a try. Hwaiting! Allah yuftah alaikum.

Dangerous Fitrah

DISCLAIMER: Post nih tak memberi manfaat. Asif.

Basmallah.

Fitrah. Satu nikmat yang Allah kurniakan pada makhluk bernama manusia. Tanpa iman yang kuat, jujur fitrah boleh berubah menjadi fitnah. Nauzubillah. Kehilangan redha Allah lebih aku takut berbanding pudar nya kasih manusia. Yet, aku diciptakan bukan untuk meraih redha manusia but Sang Pencipta.

Wahai Pemilik Segala Hati, pandulah hati ini agar kekal di atas jalan-Mu. Jagakan hati serta fitrah ini agar tidak keruh dan karat dek hawa nafsu yang tiada berpenghujung.

Lenyapkan lah perasaan ini,
Andai ianya akan menjauhkan Kau dariku,
Andai ianya akan mengundang kemarahanMu,
Andai ianya akan membuatku lalai dgn Ibadatku,
Andai ianya akan menolakku ke dalam lembah kehinaan,
Andai ianya akan memudarkan cintaku kepadaMu,
Andai ianya akan membutakan hati ini,
Andai ianya akan melambatkan langkahku ke syurga,
Kerna,
Sebenar benar cinta adalah cinta yang membawa ke Syurga,
Bukan yang sebaliknya.

Izinkan ku mencintaiMu terlebih dahulu wahai Sang Pencipta sebelum Kau labuhkan cintaku kepada hamba-Mu. Perancangan-Mu lebih mengasyikkan dari cinta manusia yg sementara. Kuatkan hati ini, ya Rabb.

Failure

Assalamualaikum. Just completed Module 7 exam kat Securities Commission. Dengan itu, tamatlah sudah #ICMGTS14. Kinda sad but nak tak nak kena lah face the reality kann. Lagi sedih dgn result Module 7. I failed wehhh! Cry out loud.

To be honest, the moment aku received slip result tuh and I saw FAIL on it, broke my heart into pieces. To be worst, my nearest friend passed the exam. Jealous. Astaghfirullah. But I am still a human kot.

On the way back home from SC, I really made an effort to reflect myself and calm me down. Antara refleksi nya, ALLAH RINDU AKU. Why? Sebab lately I spent less time with Him compare to His creature.

Boleh jadi jugak Allah nak aku praktikkan apa yg aku baca baru baru nih. Buku tuh, buku pasal Sabar. Best sentence yg aku rasa sgt relate dgn situasi aku nih, "Tidak ada kegembiraan tanpa kesedihan." Lebih kurang lahh ayat nya. Haa kira dengan kesedihan gagal nih merupakan pre kegembiraan aku akan datang. InsyaAllah.

Apart from that, kalau nak dibandingkan dengan para Sahabat, ujian aku yg alaaa Gagal Module 7 nih serius lah macam kuman jea kot. Tapi baru kena ujian sekecil kuman nih pun dah kemain merudum emosi, sentap dengan member sendiri, hmm. Dah tuh kemain impian nak masuk syurga. Layak ke? Sedih lagi hmm.

Okay. Malam nih nak gerak ke Terengganu InsyaAllah. Moga emosi kembali sihat. Mohon 'Izzati sekuat namanya.

Besarkan hati please

Assalamualaikum. Alhamdulillah minggu nih berkesempatan nak merasa nikmat hujung minggu. Tapi lagi dua minggu jea pun nak struggle ada kelas time weekend since it comes to the end soon. Macam aku sorang jea yang sedih sebab nak habis dah. Haha hati tisu kenod help (despite org duk cakap aku garang sobss)

Actually what I'm trying to luah here is related to rezeki. This sounds cheesy but nahh it is real though haha. Excuse me.

I always tell a friend of mine that if someone wants to know about each of us (kata mudahnya merisik info), she will be the best person and so do I. Yelaaaa, bertahun kot stay together. She knew my flaws (too obvious I guess haha sobs). I do know hers (fikir sat)

But somehow I did tell her that I'm afraid to let her be the middle person (baca: org tengah) since so many cases happened tuptup fall in love dgn org tgh. Insekyo. Lagi jahat, she made a joke yg maybe I am the reason for her to meet her Jodoh lol. So unacceptable.

Then, I realised that everything has been planned by Allah. Yes, it can happen that I may be the reason she meets her soulmate or etc. But who am I to question what Allah has decided for His creatures?

"...and it may be you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you, and Allah knows while you do not know." (Baqarah : 216)

I do believe that if it is stated yours, no matter how hard other people try to steal, it will remain as yours. And yes, otherwise. So, nothing to worry kann. Chill Liyana haha. But now, seek love from Him before 'him'. Okay enough with this cheesy talk. Let's back on track. Doa kannn.

Finding me

Assalamualaikum.

I feel like writing about my name for this post. Why? Hmm, because why not ngeh ngeh. Pardon me, my own space though.

When I was a child, waAllahi I kept asking my parents why named me "Nur 'Izzati Liyana"? Why there is a phostropy (') before I? Why there are two Zs and not only one? A pure, innocent child I was who started to discover new things. (Now flaws everywhere sobss)

Since I found my name was quite weird (during that unmatured time), I insisted to write my name on each school books as Nur Izati Liyana. Without (') and only one Z. So tak matured kan.

Alhamdulillah, currently I could say that I love my name because it is me even though it may sound common. To have (') and double Z in my name I could say an uniqueness that differs me from others. Haha acah sgt. Seronok kan jadi unik. Tapi semua org now nak jadi lawa, putih. Then what makes us unique from each other? (Ehh! Sasar tajuk pulak)

Apart from the spelling, I tend to start appreciating 'Liyana'. Yes, I admit that I'm comfortable with 'Izzati' because I can feel that it blends well in me (not in kemuliaan meaning because tak mulia pung). But for certain reason, I am struggling to find Liyana (kelembutan, kehalusan) in me. Why I gegeh nak carik Liyana is because tak nak lahhh jadi manusia tak seindah nama. Indeed, nama nih pun amanah kan.

Doa kan I meet Liyana, before someone else meet other Liyana. Ayat pelik who cares. Adios.

Getting older

Assalamualaikum. Mat ri ye (Selamat Hari Raya). Happy tak dengan prestasi Ramadhan 1437H nih? Ramadhan goals achieve tak? (Silent cry) But the most menyayat hati ialah sejurus Ramadhan tinggal kan kita, kembali pada Fitrah ke kita nih? Each of u has the answer kan. Moga kita bukan dlm golongan yang miskin yang mana Ramadhan tidak membuahkan sebarang amal, Aamiin.

Indeed, Alhamdulillah I reached 22 years old a day before Raya. Motip mention? Hmm, sebab I just did some reflection on myself. Hidup 22 tahun nih, jalan yang ditempuh konon onak berduri tuh been blessed by Allah tak? Did I really pulun cari redha Nya? Tbh, lately, I got distracted with Dunia. Takut, kot ngalit (baca: leka) terus dapat penyakit Wahn (cinta kan Dunia). Boleh nak cinta Dunia tapi jangan TERLALU cinta. Tuh bahaya. Cinta kan buta (Roll eyes)

Moga aku back to origin, semat kan dlm hati, otak yang the main reason aku diciptakan hanya untuk Beribadat kat Allah. Jadi, pandangan yg paling utama aku patut kisah ialah ALLAH. Moga para Malaikat kat Langit mengenali. W'Alam.

Growing up

I was scrolling my gallery (since I was lost doing nothing). To know the facts that I'm growing up, it hurts myself. Internally. From having a clear face till I couldn't even bear to look for my own face.  Puberty hits me wrongly I guess haha. Meanwhile, my same age friends turn to be so pretty years by years.

Astaghfirullah. I keep telling my mom everytime I feel down and left out for being an ugly black duck (no idea why i chose duck), she knew how I feel as it is a very normal situation for a young lady to look beautiful. Not for the sake of attention. But for self confidence. Still, she has no clue how to solve my problem. I had a very sensitive skin which I can't predict when the itchy will come and go. My mom keeps telling me that this may be one of the ways Allah wants to bring me closer to Him by asking for His helps to cure me. Indeed, it may be true.

Knowing that Allah doesn't even care about the appearance of His creature is a relief for me. But, in my daily life, I have to meet lots of people which I can't avoid to. I have no choices but to face it with fake confidence.

My mom did tell me to not focus on my problem or flaws but count my blessing so I get distracted and thank Him. True. Afraid, I may forget to be a grateful believer. Being born as a Muslim was the most blessings ever, Alhamdulillah.

Pray for me to keep moving on the right path towards Him. Allah knows best.

Weak human.

Titisan akhir

Assalamualaikum. Malam nih dah masuk Ramadhan yg ke 21. Apa khabar iman memasing? (Jawap dlm hati)

Tak lama lagi Ramadhan dah nak berangkat pulang. Sehabis daya ke aku berjuang bersamanya ? Atau aku langsung tak endah akan kedatangan jugak kepergian nya ? (bukan aku please 😭)

Ramadhan nih sebaik baik peluang utk makhluk bernama manusia yg nak makin dekat dengan Allah since takde intermediaries (Syaiton) yg akan goda atau tarik kita jauh dari Allah. Maka rugi lah manusia yg sia sia kan peluang berharga dan biar kan Ramadhan tinggal kan kita berserta dosa yg tidak berkurang. Lagi sadis dari berbuka makan nasi dgn telur goreng jea weh.

Banyak kan berdoa. Semoga kita antara mereka mereka yg beruntung yg mana segala dosa dosa nya diampun kan oleh Allah. Dannn jauh lebih baik kalau dpt kekal istiqamah beramal dgn kebaikan selepas Ramadhan.

Allahumma balighna fi Lailatul Qadr.

W'Alam.

Positivism

Assalamualaikum dan Ramadhan Kareem.

Alhamdulillah dah masuk hari ketiga kita dengan Ramadhan, moga amal masih dan sedang menggemuk lagi insyaAllah.

Alhamdulillah jugak, dah masuk hari kelima aku undergo training dengan SC. WaAllahi, penat sebab start semalam till next 15days, aku tak cuti weh. Direct class. Kau rasa ? (Acah sgt, ada kau) But atleast, the good thing is bulan Ramadhan nih takde lah aku lalai dengan benda lagha sgt, nak scroll twitter or facebook pun tak dan. Update blog nih pun sebab nak rehat sat lepas berbuka after maghrib.

Actually, the reason why I write this post is to positive my negative vibes. Why? Hmm. Ptg tadi, kelas habis at 430PM but aku sampai rumah at 630PM due to heavy traffic, hazard report, car stopped at shoulder and bla bla bla (apa waze cakap). Mungkin aku tahu atau tak, yang traffic jam and KL are so ngam together but still aku tak bolehhhhh. Dah tuh, bila dah elok selamat parking nearby to rumah (despite my usual parking pun kena curik dgn motor), I noticed yang pintu belakang calar. PANJANGGGGGGGGG 😭 Faham tak how I should feel then ? This is the second time though.

Dah tuh, aku nih sejenis manusia yg almost OCD, so that kind of calar yg bukan dari tgn aku, are being so distractive. It hurts. Setelah beberapa minit disakiti, aku mcm, mungkin Allah substituted calar so aku tak kena rempuh atau pun langgar dengan kereta lain. Mungkin jugak kifarah dosa.

Kan semua benda yg berlaku tiada kebetulan. Every single things has been planned by Him, the Best planner. Cuma kita sendiri as manusia yg kena betul betul yakin dengan aturanNya. InsyaAllah bila kita bersyukur, Allah bagi lebih kannnnnn. W'Alam.

Okay lahhh, gtg tak nak sia sia kan Ramadhan.

Kirimkan

Memandangkan minggu depan dah bermula pesta ibadah (berpuasa), Qanaah dan Aisya bercadang untuk mencuci mata di Mall. Berbelanja sebelum raya kononnya.

Settle pusing se-round dua, Aisya utarakan kondisi perutnya yg agak bising kelaparan. Qanaah akur dan teman Aisya utk mendiamkan perutnya.

Setibanya di hadapan sebuah makanan pantas (fast food), Qanaah sangat berat hati untuk turut masuk ke kedai makan tersebut dan hanya tunggu di luar.

Sebagai sahabat yg mengambil berat, Aisya bertanya kepada Qanaah, "Qan, awak ada nak kirim apa apa tak kat McD ? Saya boleh tolong belikan."

"Kirimkan kemaafan sebab saya tak mampu nak halang awak daripada menyumbang kepada kezaliman," balas Qanaah dengan serba salah.

Aisya kelihatan seolah ditampar kuat dengan namanya kesedaran, lantas bersuara, "Ehhh, perut saya cakap dia nak makan kat kedai sebelah McD lah Qan. Awak teman yee."

'Alhamdulillah, moga Allah kuatkan dikau utk terus istiqamah wahai sahabat,' detik hati Qanaah sambil berjalan separa laju menurut langkah sahabatnya yg kelaparan.

Kenapa kita?!

Assalamualaikum. Aku rasa nih post pertama aku utk tahun 2016. Peh peh peh. Byk draft I created tapi ada tajuk jea, isi nya tak sempat nak karang. Tapi kali nih, aku paksa kan diri utk sempat kan jugak karang at least satu.

Post kali nih lebih utk aku muhasabah (tak, actually semua post aku utk aku muhasabah lol)

I bet mesti semua org pernah utara kan soalan kat diri dia, 'Why me?!' Pernah tak terfikir kenapa kita yg terpilih utk berdepan dgn sesuatu situasi yg mungkin di ingini / tak di ingini.

Contoh mudah, dalam banyak banyak kereta, kenapa kereta kita yang kena blok bukan kereta lain? Haa tak terasa honor ke. Yelaaa sampai org yg tak kenal pun terikat dgn kereta kita, belum lagi nampak pemilik kereta (eh!) Tapi typical kita akan naik berang, betul kan. Sebab apa? Sebab kita tak terasa yang kita dipilih oleh Allah untuk berdepan dgn situasi genting tersebut. Indeed, tuh salah satu cara utk melatih sabar yang liat.

Tapi time terserempak dgn manusia molek sikit kemain terasa bersyukur, Allah pilih kita untuk menikmati indah nya ciptaanNya (rolled eyes 360°)

Seingat aku pernah seseorang cakap yang setiap org yg kita terserempak, semuanya Allah hantar bersebab. Termasuk lah kucing yang mintak makanan kat kita, kawan yang annoyed nak Innalillah, pakcik taxi yg bagi baki kurang, dan seterusnya. Kita jea yg kena main peranan untuk kawal otak memasing supaya sedar dan berfikir.

Tak dinafikan jugak ada a few person yg aku bumped into tapi tak tahu apa perlu nya aku bumped into that particular person. Sampai kesudah lah aku bingung, Kenapa aku hahahaha. Doa kan aku moga aku tahu asbab nya ngeh ngeh.

Waalaikummussalam.