Sunday, 22 October 2017

Side effect

Assalamualaikum. Cerita seram ringkas, esok Isnin. Nangis. Dah nak masuk minggu minggu terakhir bulan Oktober sudah. Did everything go well, so far? Tahniahh if yes.

I am writing this post after having an instant noodle as my lunch. Since, my girlfriend pun takde, nak masak utk seorang makan tuh macam tak berbaloi jea effort memotong semua haha. Luckily I have two packs of maggi sbb one of em dah kena serbu dgn semut. Semut is cruel, sobs.

Nak dijadikan cerita time tgh makan tuh pun, otak nih non-stop thinking. Serius, tak boleh tolong (read: can't help). What I thought was the side effect of consuming instant food. Aku nih acah acah healthy eater (dgn tak makan instant food, too oily SANGAT). Tapi benda lain rembat jea haha. Kalau makan tuh, kira macam dah no choice lah.

Sama lah jugak kisah untuk lunch tadi, (I know I ve choice tapi tapi *kuis kaki*). So sambil makan tuh, I pray that there ll be no side effect after eating this haha. Then tetiba teringat lah conversation between me and officemate; either to consume medication or inject jea. She asked me, which one I prefer. And I prefer to be injected. Aku tak suka lah terikat dgn ubat. That's why. Inject sekali kan senang. Her response was like, "Berani nya. Tak takut side effect? Tapi makan ubat pun ada side effect jugak."

Haa, here we goes. Cliché nya kita as human mudah sgt ter-influence dgn side effect. Consume vitamin nih takut nanti gemuk. Minum air nih nanti tak boleh tidur malam lah dan seterusnya. Tak salah. Sungguh, berhati hati itu bagus. Cuma, kita tak pernah pun (mungkin pernah lah) fikir side effect that may harm us from of our doings/action we took.

Contoh mudah, kita tahu manusia tuh sifatnya lemah. Kita tahu manusia tuh pun hamba jugak kan. Tapi kenapa masih meletak sesuatu harapan pada tempat yg tak sepatut nya? Kita tahu manusia sifatnya mudah berbolak balik, yang mana at the end akan menghampakan kita. Tapi kita masih kann. Instead berharap kat Allah, kita lebih mudah berharap kat manusia. (Lebih memarahi diri sendiri)

"Ketahuilah, seandainya seluruh umat bersatu utk memberikan kamu suatu keuntungan, maka hal itu tidak akan kamu peroleh selain daripada apa-apa yg Allah tetapkan untukmu.

Walaupun mereka bersatu utk membahayakanmu, maka hal itu tidak akan membahayakanmu kecuali apa yg telah Allah tetapkan untuk dirimu."

[Hadis Riwayat Al-Tarmizi]

Nahh, sudah terang lagi bersuluh kan. Manusia tuh hanya perantara jea. Yang menentukan rezeki kita, yang menggerakkan hati seseorang, yang melembutkan hati boss, yang memudahkan perjalanan semuanya berpunca dari Yang Mencipta.

I came across a tweet;

If a heart becomes attached to other than Allah, Allah makes him dependent on what he is attached to & he will be betrayed by it.

Sedih kan. Moga hati yang satu nih kembali kepada asal nya. Letak sesuatu dalam penjagaan Allah lebih selamat, kan. Senyum.

Allah yuftah alaina. Satu mujahadah, tak mudah 💪

Friday, 6 October 2017

Growing is painful

If I was given a choice, I chose not to grow. It hurts. Indeed, I did have a dream to die before I grow (or in other words, baligh) so I can have express ticket to Jannah. I sound loser kan, but it is the truth.

I guess now is the peak phase for me in growing as adult (sounds tua, i is sad). And again it hurts. Where u re still coping and adopting with the new environment, new routine, new commitment, new responsibility, and the list continues.

Sorry, I may spread sadness or negative vibes. But it is not wrong to be sad kan. Fitrah kot. This week (eh ke starting from last month lagi) my emotion is so unstable. Upside down. This week is the worse, wish I hope in upcoming weeks, I ll be eased.

Since my roomate went to a course, so it worsens the mood. If I am a toddler, I ve been cranky for this few days, haha. Serius nih. Macam mood budak turn on haha. Tadi bercipika-bercipiki dgn seorang makcik nih pun rasa macam bunga bunga, lol. Lacking of attention gilaaaaa (tampar diri sendiri)

Tadi during class, came across a verse from which Surah I forgot (will update once jumpa balik insyaAllah). Ayat nya lebih kurang, Allah memberi kehinaan kepada orang yg Dia kehendaki. Dan juga beri kemuliaan kepada org yg kehendaki.

Life cycle kita as human kan macam roda. Ada masa kat atas, we may menghina/hurt other people, and ada masa jugak kita di bawah, being hurt/humiliated. Tapi kan takde satu pun yg berlaku dlm Dunia nih tanpa izin-Nya, thus atas izin-Nya, it happened whatever it has been happened. Haaa, confuse kan my ayat. Ampun haha.

Sokay weak human (I am referring to myself),

He said: Fear not, surely I am with you both: I do hear and see. [20:46]

Plus, tanpa few wounds or scratches, u won't appreciate or feel blessed ur later achievement. Mungkin jugak a way, untuk lebih mendidik diri agar lebih bergantung harap pada tempat yg sepatutnya. We don't know, hikmah Allah tuh luas. Sebab tuh lah memerlukan hati yang besar jugak utk nampak setiap kejadian yg berlaku bil hikmah. Gittew.

May the force be with me, and you 🌸